Because I love you… by Author Lindsey Lane

Lindsey and Gabi

My daughter and I had a great summer. Don’t get me wrong, we have a good relationship and are quite close as I have raised her mainly by myself these past twenty odd years. But there are always stumbling blocks in any relationship, and none can be more tangled than parent and child. Why? Because, as I usually explain to my daughter, when this beloved creature springs from your body and is dependent on you for so many years, it is hard to reestablish boundaries as they grow more independent. I’ve had to work at harnessing my worry, which can leak out as judgment. You know those terrible insinuating and indirect questions parents ask? “Honey, are you sure what you’re wearing is…” Even as I type that sentence, I cringe.

So when she was coming home this summer to work between her second and third year of college, I sought out help and advice. I worked on my directness of communication. If I felt myself worry, I took it to a friend or I took a deep breath and envisioned my daughter being in charge of her life. We had an amazing summer. We noticed the shift. We appreciated each other. As the time drew near to take her to college, I came down one morning to this note and this bouquet of flowers.

This little unexpected bouquet meant so much to me. It was such an affirmation not simply of love but also of having a relationship that can grow and change. These little gestures are so important that way. They say. “Yes.” They say, “Thank you.” They say, “Because I love you.”

According to Lindsey, why small moments matter: Small moments matter because they are like lovely expected visitors who gladden our hearts.

Bio: Lindsey is a writer, a mother, and a really good friend. Some days she works really hard at all of those things and some days it all comes easily. “I don’t love it when the writing’s hard or mothering’s icky or my friends and I have conflicts, but when it’s good, it is so sweet.” For the more official version of me, please check out my website: www.lindseylane.net.

Brave Tutu Note: I first met Lindsey at our Austin SCBWI conference. At that time, I was working as a barista in full writing pursuit. Therefore, I’d saved for months and months to attend our conference. Making the special author and staff dinner simply wasn’t an option. Lindsey—I have no idea how she knew—sought me out. She wanted to give me her ticket to the dinner. I said something like, “I’m not sure how I could repay you.” And I remember her saying something like, “It all evens out in the kitchen sink.”  That night bridged me into deeper friendship in our incredible writing community, and my friendship with Lindsey has grown. I aspire towards the generous grace Lindsey gives our world.

Remember,

Your Brave Tutu (You’re Brave Too-Too)

-Take courage in delight. Discover power in small moments.

"I hope my daughter lives a terrific story," says Lindsey.