Full Heart — Brave Tutu

Okay, okay. So, I was pretty flattered when a reader reached out, asked me “re-publish” my Clear Eyes piece. After an unexpected trip home to Midland, the football season’s kickoff and a few tweaks, I decided to do just that.

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t lose.

This mantra from Friday Night Lights on Netflix played in my mind on a drive home to Midland Texas. Often, I hit the Permian Basin at sunset, a perfect backdrop for the oil rigs, as the sky peaches and pinks. Like the opening credits in FNL, these diligent “steel cows” nod their heads amidst endless Texas terrain.

Being home in 80% sky-country invokes many visual cues from the show. Just like the Dillon panthers, Midland’s front yards sport giant plywood signs for star players– mounted in all their glory. Everyone in town knows, LUKE #35 is a proud Bulldog!

That Sunday in February, I hung out with the geese as the sun sank behind the duck pond. On my walk home, I smiled at pick-up trucks parked for family dinners and savored the smell of fireplaces as their parade of colors chimneyed up into the sky.

In those still moments, I heard the words again—Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t lose.

For anyone who has read the book or watched the show, you know that FNL’s courageous players and families experienced significant loss and hardships. Their slogan’s optimism didn’t prevent unsatisfactory scores, injury or grief.

However, Coach Taylor’s mantra inspired a winning spirit AND, for me, it connotes another form of “can’t lose.”

It ties back to my bangs! Haha.

Now I hear you asking, “Bekah, how do football and haircuts relate?” Just hear me out, y’all.

I got home from that sunset walk and re-watched my Instagram video where I shared that Austin Monthy* featured me in their magazine and gave a spoiler for the CBS Austin interview. I felt alive listening to myself passionately talk about the excitement in my life. I noticed my face was bright and happy– clear from bangs.

This inspired me to take some serious time with my reflection before bed. I don’t know about you but I get my fill of “face time” with today’s intensified Zoom culture. Other than quickly applying mascara and strokes of eye shadow, I rarely take time to “take myself in” so to speak.

But that night, standing in front of the mirror, I examined my face. With my hair braided to the side—unobstructed—I looked into my blue eyes.

Out of nowhere, I heard the words again and teared up a bit.

Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t lose.

Full disclosure, laziness compelled me NOT to do my bangs during my visit home. #MyMomLovesMyFace *smile* However, that lack of primping gifted me the Friday Night Light’s realization. As with the Dillon Panthers, an optimistic attitude doesn’t always shield me from loss (just take a look at my recent pieces) AND my heart is full– even in grief. That’s always been the case.

For the last five years or so, I’ve enjoyed bangs. I like how they change up my face and offer a fun “new look” and, don’t worry Lauren Burleson, they might return. But perhaps, in this new season the fresh “new look” I don is less about what appears on the outside. All I know is, for now, I’ll tie my bangs back and look ahead with fresh, clear eyes and, of course, you guessed it–a full heart.

Are you taking the time to see yourself with “clear eyes”? In what ways have you challenged yourself to reevaluate your surroundings or yourself? As contradictory as it sounds, how have losses reminded you of your full heart?

Remember,

Your Brave Tutu (You’re brave, too-too!)

-Take courage in delight. Discover power in small moments

*Update, since originally publishing this piece, I created greeting card company and Austin Monthly featured Love, Bekah in their magazine too!